Author: Jeffrey E. Young,Janet S. Klosko Category: Self-Help Publication date: Page count: Te atraen las relaciones con personas egocentricas, frias, que no te comprenden o te utilizan? Tienes miedo de mostrar a los demas como eres en realidad, pues piensas que te podrian rechazar por ello? Antepones las necesidades de los demas a las tuyas propias, de modo que nunca logras satisfacer tus necesidades? Te invade el panico cuando alguien a quien quieres te deja o te amenaza con ello?
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From this book, I learned that my primary lifetrap is Social Exclusion, which brought on Unrelenting Standards, all with a small side of Subjugation. Bestest times, right? It was enlightening to see glimmers of other lifetraps that are present in people I know, too, as it brought about a new perspective on their actions that I might not like. Discussing the Surrender lifetrap coping style: "Unhealthy as it may be, most people seek and create environments that feel familiar and similar to the ones where they grew up.
The whole essence of surrendering is somehow managing to arrange your life so that you continue to repeat the patterns of your childhood. They are deeply ingrained, and like addictions or bad habits, they are hard to change. It is a great loss, like a death. Spontaneity, joy, trust, and intimacy are all lost, and they are replaced by a guarded, shut-down shell. The person constructs a false self.
This false self is harder, less easily wounded. It is a signal that something is wrong - that the other person may be doing something unfair. Ideally, anger motivates us to become more assertive and correct the situation. When anger produces this effect, it is adaptive and helpful. Screaming is a sign of psychological defeat. You feel constantly frustrated and irritated with yourself for not meeting your standards.
You may feel chronically angry, and certainly you feel high levels of anxiety. You obsess about the next thing you have to do right.
These patterns are comfortable and familiar, and we are very unlikely to change them unless we make a concerted, deliberate, and sustained effort to do so; if we wait for fundamental change to happen on its own, it almost certainly will not. We are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past and the legacy of our parents and grandparents unless we make intentional and prolonged efforts to alter them.
We are not advocating a narcissistic philosophy of living. However, many of us have been overtrained, oversocialized. We have been pushed too far in the direction of doing what others expect.
Reinventa tu vida : cómo superar las actitudes negativas y sentirse bien de nuevo
Reinventa tu vida